Release
by Nocens Lupus
Summary: SLASH. NineJack. Set sometime between Boom Town and Bad Wolf. While the cat's away these two mice will play... and release a little bit of the tension! Doctor introspection ahead!


**Release**

He woke to silence, deep and complete. It blanketed him, cosseting him in its silken embrace. The night was something that he had learned to appreciate when it came around. Daylight, moonlight, dusk and dawn. They were things that were lost when he was out there, travelling. Endlessly roaming. Phases and changes, the little nuances that were lost on the idiotic humans he so often had to bail out. He smiled. Perhaps idiotic was generalising too much. True, most could accomplish monumentally stupid decisions and most would actually choose to do so rather than sit down and think things through properly. Because that would take too long — humans constantly needed to feel that they were _doing_ something, providing distraction, confusion — to realise there was a simpler solution. But so what? The complicated one took two seconds to complete, and another lifetime to rectify. But at the time…

He sighed into the cool air surrounding him. It had to be Rose. Affecting him. _In_fecting him with the irrationality gene that only a human could have. She was so unabashedly, uncomplicated. So unapologetically human. Wasn't that the main reason he had invited her along? There was just something indefinable about her. Something that drew him to her inexorably, clouding his judgement, blinding him to the possible problems that could arise. Like the amount of trouble a companion brought with them. But he had been alone for so long. So many years just drifting, searching for something, a direction for him to follow. And then Rose had fallen into his lap, and she was… infectious, fun, flirty, full of life. The TARDIS seemed to glow brighter with her inside it; they both fell under her spell. He closed his eyes again, breathing evenly, clearing his mind. Of course eventually he fell in love with her. What else was supposed to happen? What else _could_ have happened? And what was wrong with that?

Perhaps the 880-year age difference was a sticking point.

He caught himself before he laughed out loud. Oh, it was never going to be a conventional love affair. No flowers, chocolates, dinner or movies. Not even a few beers and then a quick one in the back of the TARDIS. And somehow that was completely right. For just an ordinary human, Rose was extraordinary. So it was poetic that their love should be just as rare, just as unexplainable. Sometimes he surprised himself at the depth to which his feelings had gone. At just how far she had wormed her way into his life. And yet he knew that what he felt was reciprocated. When he gazed into her eyes he saw the fire lurking there, the strength of her spirit, powered by her love for him. He had lost count of the numerous times they had both laid their life on the line for the other. So many times that perhaps now it was losing its impact, almost becoming part of some unseen script they had to follow: crash land in the TARDIS, find trouble, get into life threatening situation, get rescued by the other, fly off. Change the monster of the week and there was their life together.

He shifted slightly and the cover whispered as it slithered over his bare skin. Yes, they loved each other, but they would never _be_ together. By unspoken agreement they had both reached the same conclusion. It was best for all if they remained companions. But even as he had reached his decision, he knew that there would not be anyone else for either of them. Indeed, no one had ever got as close to him as Rose had. Nobody had crawled under his skin, burrowed their way into his hearts in quite the same way. There might be other lovers, other dalliances, but no one that would come between them.

So why did he feel so guilty?

A frown marred his usually cheerful face. Guilt. Right at the moment it seemed to be consuming him from his toes up, moving through him in waves, each stronger than the last. He wasn't human. He wasn't subject to the same foibles, the same hang ups that seemed to dog the race he had come to see as his adopted species. (After all, it was a constant supply of entertainment — if anything was going to go wrong, it was always on an apocalyptic scale.) For all her adaptability, for all her protestations of open-mindedness to all they saw, perhaps this would be a step too far. He shivered suddenly in the cool air, his hair standing on end. Oh, he knew he could be just as dumb as the next bipedal imbecile, but maybe he'd managed to beat his previous record of things that he should never, ever do. A monumental cock-up: that's what this could turn into if he didn't try to rectify his mistake.

His companion stirred, the flickering arousal slowly smouldering to life as soft skin brushed against the small of his back - so many unspoken promises in that touch. A lifetime of experience and expertise solely in sexual fulfilment there for the taking, and it had already been taken. Repeatedly. And in various positions, some of which he knew, and some that didn't seem quite possible without another set of limbs being involved. He could try and blame it on alcohol, (although he hadn't touched a drop), or on just barely escaping with his life from the last planet they had landed on, (a normal occurrence these days with Rose around), or maybe he just needed some sort of comfort, some sort of connection every once in a while, (although he hated deluding himself); so in all honesty he hadn't really needed an excuse. There had been harmless flirtation, a primeval mating dance, skirting around the issue of mutual physical attraction, until he had thought 'sod it', and jumped straight in. That was the true reason, the tangible reason he was here in this bed: sheer frustration, availability, and opportunity in equal measure. A whistle-stop visit to good old Earth and Rose was off visiting her mum and Ricky-Mickey with a 'see ya later' yelled over her shoulder.

And that had left them alone.

He sat up slowly, trying to keep as still as possible. What time was it anyway? It had been late before they'd finally stopped denying what was obviously going to happen and just got on with it… and then it had been a lot longer after that before either of them finally admitted that they were too knackered to try anything else that night. So, Rose could potentially be back at any moment. At any second she could come bounding through the door, possibly with Mickey in tow, pulling him behind her like some broken down old banger in need of servicing, leading him to the back of the TARDIS, only to find her best friend and her potential boyfriend in bed together. Somehow the Doctor felt that even though she had chosen him over her mother and her boyfriend, she'd find that revelation a little harder to stomach. It made him want to scream. She knew he was an alien, she knew that the same rules didn't apply, hell, Jack had admitted it to her — in the future anything was pretty much fair game, so long as it consented. Who cared if your partner had ten tentacles and not much else? All that mattered is what they _did_ with them; the rest was semantics. She'd always giggled in that school-girlish way that was infectious, eyes twinkling, almost as if she'd heard what he had said, had even understood it, but just thought that he was winding her up.

In part the Doctor wished he had been. Ulterior motives? When he'd asked Rose to come with him it was because she was destined for so much more than anything the Earth had to offer her, she had so much to give, so much she could grow into. And yes, part of that was the attraction that was there even at the beginning; something on the periphery that neither of them acknowledged was even there. But Captain Jack Harkness? He'd have had to be blind if he hadn't seen the obvious attraction between Jack and Rose and that helped him make his decision easier — bring him along to give Rose someone else to argue with, to wind up, to flirt with. A lesser reason — his own attraction to the rogue time agent, and the knowing looks that Jack kept throwing his way. Oh, he could be a crafty git sometimes in his own inimitable way, but now the deed was done he was left with the fall out to deal with. Preferably before Rose got back from her jaunt.

A hand snaked around his thigh, slowly edging upwards, leaving a burning trail in its wake. So much for having the space to put his thoughts in order before having to sort out the mess he had created. Grabbing the infuriating hand before it could cut off rational thought the Doctor looked down to find Jack's flushed face staring up at him.

"So what, you suddenly don't like that? I gotta say, I was hoping we could try out a few things we didn't get round to last night." He was in full flirt mode, heavily lidded eyes, mouth slightly wet and parted in invitation. It didn't matter if he was fully clothed or completely naked, to Jack it was the same thing. And this was what Rose would eventually turn into. Evolutionally speaking and perhaps not personally, but still, it was quite a leap from what the human race was now. The only good thing about that was the fact that the Doctor was unaffected by Jack's flirting, although he wasn't sure if Jack knew that or not.

"Not a good idea. Our jolly little holiday's almost over — Rose'll be back in a bit and I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be too happy to walk in on us, like this." Jack's eyes swept the Doctor's naked body, and the twinkling eyes met his deadly serious ones.

"Maybe she'd want to join us…" Jack's voice trailed off as the full force of the Doctor's most intense gaze pierced through him. "Or maybe not. You're right, bad idea. So I guess you're vetoing the idea of an open relationship?" Half in anger and half in disgust the Doctor turned his back on his unrepentant companion. Sometimes it was unbelievable that out of the three of them, he seemed to be the only one thinking at all. But then again, had he expected any better, having chosen two human companions? He frowned deeply, his sudden self-analysis jarring with his surroundings, making his teeth ache at the absurdness of it all. He was naked, lying next to his, (supposedly), one-time lover, waiting for a girl who he was in love with to return from visiting her Earth-bound boyfriend. Somehow he couldn't quite remember why he had thought it was such a good idea that they tagged along, not now it had grown so complicated.

"You know this was just something to clear the air in here." He heard Jack snort behind him, but refused to give in and turn around. "Let's get this straight, there's not going to be any relationship, right? Can't have you keep wanting to hold my hand and anyway, you'd have to fight Rose for the right. So best for all if we just keep this here and now, and when Rose gets back we'll be able to have our own little private joke about it." In a small way he knew part of him wanted it to continue. Why shouldn't he? If Rose could suddenly run off and visit Mickey, and Jack could flirt anything into bed, why shouldn't he have his own bit of release? It was refreshing to come across someone like Jack; admittedly when he'd visited Earth at the time of Jack's era he'd indulged in the opportunities available to him, but to actually have someone look at him as if he were… just another alien, just another conquest, refreshed him in a way that nothing else quite could. To Rose he knew he would, for the most part, still hold some kind of mystery, some kind of untouchable aura that she seemed to see all around him. He felt weighted by the knowledge that he was truly alone in the universe, and by simply having that knowledge he'd somehow affected a persona, a fleeting figure that darted in and out of people's lives, forever altering them, but fading from memory with time.

But Jack had never bought into that.

"Doc, I know what the score is — I mean, there's not much I haven't done, and being discreet, well, it's kinda a pre-requisite for being so easy. There's not much I haven't been asked to do or say just to keep the peace." Jack sighed and the bed dipped as he moved about, perhaps trying to find a more comfortable position, or perhaps just trying to ease the sudden tension that permeated the TARDIS. "Look, Rose is one hell of a special lady, we both know that, and I could tell from the beginning what's going on between you two. There's no way I'm gonna get in the way of that." His voice took on a teasing lilt. "Hell, even if there's not gonna be any of _that_ going on." And that, the Doctor realised, was part of the problem. All of his other incarnations had seemed to believe that being celibate with their companions was the right way to go. But in the here and now it was a completely different matter, here and _now_, celibacy was a distant memory. And suddenly he found himself begin to smile, a wide grin broke out over his face and a chuckle escaped his lips before he could stop it. Maybe he was over analysing everything, (more than likely), and perhaps everything was so much simpler than he was making it. Or on the other hand perhaps it wasn't. "Ah, hell, what's so funny now?" Finally the Doctor turned around and looked down at Jack.

"Everything and nothing. If only it could be this simple all the time. It'd be a lot easier, but it isn't so it's pointless worrying." The Doctor watched as Jack's brow furrowed, his quick mind trying to figure out just what he was trying to say. For a few minutes they stayed in silence until eventually Jack had to admit defeat, just as the Doctor knew he would.

"Aw, shit. Y'know I can't understand how I ever believed that you and Rose were Time Agents for as long as I did. I just thought that manic dumb act was just that, a classy act, but it really is you. So what the hell are you going on about, Doc?" The smile lessened slightly as the Doctor realised that this was it, decision time. He could go either way; if he got up and walked away now they could pretend that this never happened, never speak of it again — he could go back to being who he was supposed to be and Rose need never know. Or he could stay. At least that way he wouldn't have to sustain some level of normality all the time, and who was there to say that it couldn't be that simple. That, just like always, he was deliberately making the situation far more complicated than it in fact needed to be. Sighing he looked down at Jack, the twinkle in his eyes promising far more than the Doctor had ever asked for and suddenly everything was clear. Reaching a decision he took a deep breath and —

"Doctor! Where are you? There's something really weird going on out there…" Chuckling silently he watched as panic infused the blue depths before him and then Jack was off, out of the bed, groping for his clothes, pulling them on hurriedly. Slowly the Doctor followed his lead, shuffling into his clothes at a more leisurely pace. Reaching out he grabbed hold of Jack's arm before he had a chance to run out of the room, tugging him backwards into a searing kiss. Breaking apart the Doctor grinned madly at the flustered expression on Jack's face.

"I'll finish that later." The promise was sealed with another quicker, chaste kiss to the lips and then the Doctor strode out of the room, leaving Jack to stare after him, his skin hot with the promise of what was to come. From outside Jack heard the Doctor's voice raised in greeting, the bright, happy voice floating back to him. "End of the world again, then, Rose? Alright Ricky? Had fun?" Straightening his clothes Jack left the room, a secretive grin hovering on his lips, his mind already counting down the hours till the night came again. 

THE END


End file.
